THE Duchess of Cambridge has been taken to Australian hearts after a series of increasingly racist comments about New Zealand.
Kate has made headlines across the continent by charmingly insulting Kiwis as lazy, backwards farmers who punch themselves in the face when trying to tell the time.
Australian journalist Eleanor Shaw said: “From the moment she touched down, and remarked how wonderful it was to be in a country where sheep at least get bought a drink before sex, Oz has fallen in love with Kate.
Her Kiwi impression a pinched face and a whining voice demanding a slice of lolly cake has turned ten thousand republicans into royalists.
And when she told the Prime Minister that the haka is just how New Zealanders take a dump because their toilet seats are too filthy to touch, we were delighted.
Shes really winning hearts and minds.
The Duchess has also taken time to viciously disparage Dame Kiri te Kanawa, the band Crowded House, all flightless birds and Radio 1s Zane Lowe.
Nathan Muir of Melbourne said: She was so warm and friendly, especially when she told me that Shortland Street isnt fit to wipe the arse of Neighbours.
But when they thought Id left the room, Im sure I heard her say Throw another shrimp on the barbie, Bruce, ya roo-fuckin convict.
I didnt know she was part Australian.