Obama To Meet Bulgarian Deputy Sports Minister

PRESIDENT Obama has cleared his schedule for a high level meeting with Bulgaria's deputy minister for sport

Obama was unable to meet Mr Brown yesterday because he was staring at a rug

Mr Obama will meet Ivan Lekov at the United Nations later today to discuss Bulgaria's drive to improve table tennis facilities for the under 14s.

It is only the eighth time the two men have met, with the White House stressing it wanted to work with the Bulgarian department of sport to ensure there was a new, or nearly new, ping-pong table in every village within five years.

The meeting will also cover Bulgaria's bid to host the 2012 World Archery Championships and a joint project to develop a lighter and more environmentally friendly snooker cue.

A White House spokesman said: "We didn't know Mr Lekov was going to be in New York this week, so when the President bumped into him in the foyer we quickly threw something together. We're determined to pin down this ping-pong deal before the end of the year."

Following his meeting with Mr Lekov, President Obama is due to eat some chocolate biscuits, blow his nose, do a spot of light yawning and stare out the window for at least an hour while whistling aimlessly.

The spokesman added: "And that's why he doesn't have time to meet Gordon Brown."

Meanwhile Mr Brown last night attempted to sneak into Mr Obama's suite at the Plaza Hotel dressed as a Swedish massage therapist, but was easily spotted by Secret Service agents.

As he was dragged away and his blonde wig fell to the floor, Mr Brown shouted: "But I'm the World Statesman of the Year!