Salmond has worn same tie every day for seven years

ALEX Salmond has been wearing a tie covered in tiny Scottish flags for almost seven years, it has emerged.

The superstitious SNP leader wears the tie 24 hours a day and refuses to have it cleaned, claiming it could ‘dilute his powerful Scottish essence’.

Salmond was given the garment by an admirer in 2007 and immediately declared, ‘this is it, this is the tie’.

But Salmond’s deputy, Nicola Sturgeon, said: “It’s covered in curry, strawberry Actimel and dribble.”

She added: “It’s just manky. We’ll have to use pliers to get it off him. If you straighten it out you could use it as a pool cue.”


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Entire Premier League can’t be bothered

EVERY team in the Premier League has given up trying to win the title after only four games.

The 20 clubs have explained that results like Villa beating Liverpool and Stoke beating Man City have come about because none of them are really in the mood this time around.

A spokesman for the League Managers’ Association said: “We’ve all got new transfers to bed in, quite a few managers are still learning the ropes, the World Cup’s taken all summer, blah blah blah, so we’ve all agreed to write this one off.

“Apart from Steve Bruce at Hull City who says he’ll be going all out to win every game. But nobody’s losing any sleep over that.”

The Premier League last enjoyed a season of rest in 1995, when Blackburn Rovers were gifted a title win while everyone else sat back and took time to smell the flowers.

Leicester City manager Nigel Pearson  said: “We can either stress all season about relegation or accept it now and just relax.”