A NEW statue of Ronald Reagan will depict the late president forgetting one of the illegal things he did.
The memorial, to be unveiled outside the US embassy in London, will show the president with a confused, faraway look on his face, as if he had never heard the name Oliver North in his life.
Sculpture expert Roy Hobbs said: “Reagan was a man who loved to forget, at first purely by choice and then because of a brain that had been rotted by years of nauseating deceit.
“It is a rare artistic talent that can a capture a person’s inability to remember selling thousands of big guns to Iranian psychopaths so that you can buy thousands of big guns for Nicaraguan psychopaths.”
He added: “Perhaps the look of forgetfulness will be so powerful as to make all who gaze upon it forget that communism did not collapse because of Reagan, but because it was a load of shit.”
Meanwhile, it is hoped that Reagan’s long-time political sex partner Baroness Thatcher will attend, as long as she promises to behave herself.
A source said: “We’re worried she will clamber out of her seat, make a beeline for the statue and then fiddle pointlessly at the groin area, looking for a zip.
“Best case scenario is she unfolds a deck chair and just sits next to it for the rest of the day, reminiscing about gay persecution and demanding more whisky.”
As a mark of respect to the former president, for today only, all memorials in London to the late Princess Diana will have their names changed to ‘David’.