THE mugshot of Donald Trump is capable of reading your innermost thoughts, it has been confirmed.
Due to mysterious occult forces, the glowering mugshot of the ex-president can hear your thoughts clearly and is most displeased with what you are thinking.
A Fulton County Jail spokesperson said: “I knew something was up when we took his picture. As the flash went off a demonic howl was heard and the camera exploded. Which doesn’t usually happen.
“It all made sense when we saw the photo though. Just look at those eyes boring into your soul. Those are eyes that have strayed too far from God’s light and can peer into the darkest corners of your mind.
“Your precious childhood memories, those thoughts you only share with your mates down the pub after a couple of pints, the Donald can see them all. So watch out because he could easily put you on blast on Truth Social.”
Mugshot viewer Martin Bishop said: “Whenever I look at Trump’s mugshot I feel a strange rummaging sensation behind my eyes and hear his voice whispering in my head. It’s as if some malevolent being is rifling through my brain without my consent. It’s not nice.
“I’ve found that if I look away and think of Trump Tower on fire or Obama then it flees in terror.
“Luckily the photo isn’t a two-way portal. I’d dread to get a glimpse into his psyche, assuming he’s got one.”
