We don’t get any aid, says president of Bongobongoland

BONGOBONGOLAND last night insisted it has never received a penny in international aid.

Are your bongos Chinese?

Are your bongos Chinese?

The country’s president spoke out after UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom claimed all of Britain’s £11bn aid budget was being sent to the small west African nation.

President Brian Inkatwe said: “We get by on our own. I think it’s because no-one actually believes we exist.

“I have written to the UN on several occasions asking them if they could give us advice on starting a rural banking scheme, but every time they write back and tell me that the phrase ‘Bongobongoland’ is horribly racist and that I should stop wasting their time.

“Some aid would be nice as our economy has suffered since Chinese factories started pumping out cut price bongos.”

Bongobongoland sits between Liberia and the Ivory Coast and was a British colony until 1959. When it was granted independence everyone in Britain assumed the news reports referred to the entire African continent.

President Inkatwe added: “Our neighbours in Liberia receive some aid money and as far as I can tell most of it does actually get spent on making people’s lives  just a tiny bit better. Not as good as yours or Godfrey Bloom’s obviously, but just not horrible all the time.

“No doubt some of it gets siphoned off and spent on fancy sunglasses, but people are shits wherever you go.

“Except Britain of course. Everyone in Britain is just fucking brilliant.”