What’s Wrong With Toasties? Un Asks Rat-Eating Thai Freaks

THE UN secretary general has written to the prime minister of Thailand asking why they don't just eat toasted sandwiches.

The Breville TR46: not really set up for rats

Concern is growing in the international community after reports Thailand was drowning rats and then deep frying them as a mid-afternoon snack.

In his letter to the prime minister, UN chief Ban Ki-Moon said: "Honourable friend, are you experiencing shortages? Has there been a problem with the harvest? If so the United Nations stands ready to help the proud people of Thailand.

"But if not, then we're all really quite curious as to why you've taken to devouring deep-fried rats. Is there a new superfood I don't know about?

"I'm sure you've already thought of this, but here's an idea: Why not just make yourself a nice sandwich?

"Maybe some cheese or ham, a spoonful of chutney, a couple of bits of lettuce if you're feeling all healthy. I'll tell you what, my mouth's watering just thinking about it. Mmmmmm.

"And if you've got time – or if you're feeling a bit adventurous – you could even bung it in a toastie maker.

"It only takes a couple of minutes and it comes out piping hit and oozing cheese. Goodness me, what a treat."

He added: "I enclose a brochure for the Breville TR46, which is an excellent entry level machine and surprisingly easy to keep clean."