‘You, too, can destroy your own country,’ Farage tells US

NIGEL Farage has told an audience of Trump supporters that the power to completely devastate their own nation is in their hands. 

The former politician told a Trump rally in Mississippi that they too could wipe away decades of stable economic growth on nothing more than a petulant whim. 

Farage continued: “In the UK, which is in London where the Queen lives, we too had politicians, economists and experts preaching from on high about the absolute disaster we faced if people voted for their petty and small-minded prejudices. 

“We ignored them, they were right, and now I’m here to urge you to forget the polls, vote for a permanently tanned man with a long record of fuck-ups, and plunge your nation into depression. 

“You too can balls up your nation in a single stroke. Plus you all have guns, so I can’t imagine how much more exciting your societal breakdown will be.

During his US trip, Farage also has a meeting about playing a butler in a new Adam Sandler film.

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Second referendum voters ‘might try finding out about it this time’

VOTERS might try to find out what they are voting for if there is a second EU referendum, they have announced.

Amid renewed calls for a second vote, Britons said they would definitely consider doing some research this time.

Engineer Martin Bishop said: “I’ll probably do a Google search for the words ‘Brexit’, ‘economy’ and ‘risks’. Who knows, maybe someone has looked into it and put some information online.

“If I don’t have time I’ll base my vote on anecdotes again, for example people saying you can’t get a doctor’s appointment these days although it’s never happened to them personally.”

Shopkeeper Donna Sheridan said: “I mainly voted to return to a white monoculture like the 1950s or Midsomer Murders, so I’ll make sure there are plans for mass deportations and Theresa May is ready to tell the army to start rounding people up.

“If I can’t find the information online I’ll just visit my local Brexit office. I’m sure it will be well-staffed with knowledgeable people who have all the details.”