Friday, 29th May 2020

Brits who think Britain is best country in world appalled at idea of holidaying there

LEAVE-VOTING Britons are horrified at the prospect of vacationing in their own country instead of their first choice, Europe.

Thanks to the coronavirus and the botched job their hero Boris Johnson has made of it, red-faced Brits in Union Jack t-shirts are now unable to clear off to Spain at the first opportunity.

Martin Bishop, who has a timeshare flat in Benidorm, said: “I love Britain, two world wars and one World Cup and all that, but you can have too much of a good thing.

“The idea of spending my summer holiday in some run-down seaside town full of greasy doughnut stands where the weather will suddenly turn into a freezing monsoon is making me incredibly depressed. 

“That or some godforsaken campsite, queuing with other English people to shave your head at a rusty tap with no foreigners to mock. 

“I love my country, but if I don’t get the hell out of here between June and September and hopefully a few weeks over Christmas, I’ll top myself.

“I’m the biggest patriot I know, but patriotism has its limits. And those limits are staying in a B&B in Southend and not being able to get those yummy sardines.”