Monday, 19th April 2021

'Can’t believe we got through it' says employed homeowner with loving family and no worries

A MAN with no real-world problems is amazed that he and his family have survived the UK’s winter lockdown.

Having faced no adversity beyond occasionally hearing about his wife’s struggles to book an Ocado slot, Martin Bishop is relieved that the overwhelming weight of lockdown is beginning to lift.

Bishop said: “It’s incredible that our close-knit nuclear family stayed sane despite the fact that we had to stay in the confines of our spacious home and massive garden for so long.

“Homeschooling the kids was tough because we had to make sure they were sitting in front of their laptops to learn from the private school teachers we pay thousands of pounds each term.

“Not to mention the fact that we all had to hop into the Land Rover and go for a drive whenever the cleaner was in, just in case she breathed her low-income viral load on us.”

Bishop’s wife, Marianne, said: “We’re going to buy ourselves a treat as a pat on the back for doing so well. Just something small, like a holiday cottage in Penzance.”