Confident bastard loves dancing

A CONFIDENT prick actually enjoys spontaneously jerking his body around to music while other people watch, it has emerged.

Nathan Muir actively seeks out environments in which he can show off what he refers to as his ‘moves’.

Muir’s friend, 31-year-old Tom Booker, said: “Nate’s always dragging us out clubbing, a phase of our lives which should, by all objective standards, be reaching its natural conclusion by now.

“He doesn’t even have the decency to awkwardly shuffle about, out of time to the music, with his eyes glued to the floor like the rest of us. He’s really enjoying it, the freak.

“Has he no shame? I don’t just mean feeling ashamed of his lame dance moves, but also the general sense of all-pervasive shame that all normal men should feel.

“Last week at a festival he flailed his arms about so much that he hit a girl on the ear. I thought her boyfriend might kill him, but she didn’t have one and now she’s going out with Nathan.

“Happy, confident people really are the worst bastards.”