Saturday, 30th May 2020

Five weekend getaways you can enjoy from your home

IS self-isolation getting you down? Get away from it all with these weekend break destinations you can enjoy at home.

Your bed

Lying in bed all day is an easily achievable staycation option. Once you’ve woken up you literally don’t have to move a muscle, plus you get to take in stunning views like that patch of mould on the ceiling and the lampshade your ex never liked.

The shower

Think of the shower as your own private spa that you can piss in without being kicked out. We recommend you don’t spend too much time in here though, as you’ll be alone with your thoughts and nobody can stomach that for long, especially at the moment.

By the window

Competition will be fierce for this destination if you live with others. But if you nab yourself a place, you’ll be treated to a glimpse of the legendary ‘outdoors’ and maybe even spot one of those rare and beautiful ‘people you’re not allowed to go near’.

The back of the wardrobe

Follow in the footsteps of those Narnia kids by exploring the back of your wardrobe. Will you find a fantasy world populated with mythical beasts, or a pile of crumpled old clothes you’ve been meaning to throw away? Only one way to find out, and both will be more exciting than watching Tiger King again.

Your imagination

If you’ve got one, your imagination can be an endless source of fascination and entertainment. Chances are yours has been burnt out by social media and pornography, in which case try drugs.