Gen Z teen making fun of you via f**king stupid dance

AN IRRITATING young person is mocking you by throwing some dumb shapes on TikTok, it has been confirmed.

14-year-old Lauren Hewitt has lampooned your many shortcomings by performing a moronic dance and sharing it on some twat social media site you are apparently an out-of-date loser for not already being on.

Hewitt said: “Old people over 25 are ignorant wastes of space who are destroying the planet, which I’ve captured perfectly by doing the Wanna See Me dance to a K-Pop song you haven’t even heard of.

“Yeah you just got owned, Boomer. With a minute-long dance in which I wave my elbows like a chicken then point a pretend gun at the camera, shared on a platform invented by China to steal my data. You mad?

“My dunk would undoubtedly be a bitter pill for older generations to swallow if they could just figure out how to watch it, and it’d definitely mean they gave us teens more respect. Because we’re living and they’re just existing.”

Over-the-hill crone Nikki Hollis, aged 31, said: “I’d like to think I was more sensible when I was Lauren’s age, but I just spent my time making memes about Chuck Norris for a message board called ‘roflcopters’.”

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Nan still pissed off about uninvited visitors arriving at dinnertime in 2003

A NAN has still not forgiven members of her family for turning up at her house unannounced at 4.30pm 18 years ago. 

83-year-old Mary Fisher was, as she frequently recalls, just sitting down for a meal of fishpaste sandwiches when the doorbell rang to reveal her nephew and his wife visiting from Australia who had made a 90-mile detour to surprise her and introduce their new baby.

She said: “I had a good mind to tell them to bugger off. What sort of person just knocks on someone’s door at half-past four, which is obviously when everyone has their evening meal?

“They knew. They came at that time because they wanted feeding. It ruined my meal, and if I’m honest the whole year.

“I had to put a fresh pot of tea on, open a pack of Penguins barely 12 months out of date that I was saving for Whitsun, and feed them. I didn’t want to of course. But I had to.”

“And they expected me to be grateful. Grateful! For feeding other folk and their kids! I’ll not forget it. I’ve rewritten my will.”

Fisher went on to describe how the doorbell recently went at dinner – the meal she eats at precisely 11.30am – and it was her nosy, interfering neighbours coming round to check she was not dead.