'It is what it is' and other f**king annoying meaningless phrases

STUMPED for something worthwhile to say but still want to contribute to a conversation? Here are some totally useless and highly annoying phrases to consider.

‘It is what it is’

Said with a shrug and a wise smile, this phrase makes you come across as the deep, philosophical type. So long as you’ve been sat at a bar for four hours talking nonsense with other pissheads.

‘At the end of the day…’

Originally meant to sum up all previous points and put a conversation to bed, this phrase is now thrown into conversation willy nilly and means f**k all. Use it to sound as if you know what you’re talking about even though you don’t, eg. “At the end of the day, the economy’s all about money.”

‘Don’t take this personally’

Meaningless because it does the opposite and primes the person you’re saying it to to take it incredibly personally. Tactless people also tend to use it with a blatantly personal criticism, for example, “Don’t take this personally, Steve, but you’ve got a really weird face.”

‘For what it’s worth’

It’s worth nothing, because it’s just some ill-thought-out opinion falling out of your mouth like a steaming turd out of a cow’s backside. Used by people to sound more important or wordly-wise than they actually are, even if you’re only discussing crisps. 

‘Just sayin’’

You’ve just wasted a precious second of your life and someone else’s by telling them that what you just said is a thing you just said. Often used by twats to distance themselves from dodgy opinions, eg. “Women are smaller, so they have smaller brains. Just sayin’.”

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Dad furious at Tories over exam results still going to vote for them next time

A MAN who is livid about the Conservatives’ handling of this year’s exams is definitely going to vote for them next time, he has confirmed.

Martin Bishop, who has been calling the government a “bunch of incompetent f**king arseholes” since the results were published, will still never consider voting for anyone else.

Bishop said: “I’ve never witnessed such a terrible leadership in my entire lifetime, even though it was obvious they were going to be shit when I voted them in last December.

“They’re either buffoons like Boris Johnson or probable sociopaths like Priti Patel, and seem to be hell-bent on running the country into the ground and culling all its citizens.

“On top of that they tried to ruin my daughter’s future by trying to predict her exam grades with an algorithm. They’re the worst government ever.

“Will I ever vote for them again? Yes, without question. I don’t like immigrants, benefits claimants or Remainers. The Tories have got it spot on with all those issues.

“What’s the alternative, Jeremy Corbyn? Obviously I know he’s not Labour leader anymore, but that’s the only excuse I’ve got left.”