Middle-class family builds gingerbread house and rents it to students

AN entrepreneurial middle-class couple have turned the gingerbread house they built with their children into an investment opportunity.

After spending the evening building and decorating the festive confectionery dwelling, Julian and Carolyn Cook immediately looked into renting it out to desperate students on Rightmove.

Julian Cook said: “Coming up to Christmas, and with a cost of living crisis happening, we thought it would be prudent to monetise this unique, cosy home in a prime London location.

“At just £800 per month it represents excellent value. Some people have pointed out that the cost per square foot – given that it’s only six inches by ten in size – makes it comparatively more expensive than a luxury Hong Kong penthouse. But that’s where the market is right now.”

Carolyn added: “Of course, being made of biscuit, it lacks running water, and will fail all checks required for accommodation intended for human habitation. But until the council get involved we may as well make a few quid while we can.”

One student viewing the property said: “There’d be little privacy, and I’d have to get rid of all my belongings, but at least it’s central. And if the worst comes to the worst I can just eat the bloody thing.”

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Qatar to host Christmas 2023 in June

AFTER hosting the 2022 World Cup, Qatar has made a successful bid to host Christmas 2023 and move the festive season to June.

The decision has surprised many, as the Muslim country is not usually associated with celebrating the birth of Jesus, and much of the food and drink usually consumed at Christmas, such as pigs-in-blankets and alcohol, is haram.

A Qatari spokesman said: “We are proud and excited to host the season of goodwill to all men. And that means men, not women, trans people or homosexuals.

“And while it’s true that traditional Christmas drinks like sherry, wine, brandy and eggnog will be strictly forbidden, we are offering 0% Budweiser at £12 a bottle to help people get into the spirit.”

Father Christmas, who has been given £150 million to become Goodwill Ambassador for Qatar Christmas 2023, released a statement saying: “Make sure you’re on your best behaviour so you get your Christmas presents. Remember, Santa knows if you’ve been a dirty gay!”

While many people say they will boycott such a morally compromised Christmas, fan Tom Logan said: “Not taking part would be performative liberal nonsense, so I say: f**k it, let’s enjoy the sun and build a sandman!”