A MAN has still not achieved his life’s goal of owning a ride-on lawnmower and a garden big enough to use it, he has confessed.
Tom Booker is married with children, has run a marathon, seen his football team win five league titles and had a threesome, but has never lost sight of his true goal.
He said: “If I’m honest I thought I’d be there by now. I’ve spent years visualising myself proudly astride that John Deere ride-on. But goals aren’t goals if they’re easy.
“I could buy the mower now, cash, but the problem is it’s impossible to justify when my garden’s only 25 square metres. So I need to work harder, get promoted, move to the M4 corridor and spend three hours a day commuting so I’ve got the acres it’d need.
“A ride-on is the ultimate pointless status symbol. It’s like a toy car for people who already own an actual car.
“Sure, I’m happy. But if I don’t achieve my dream of owning a ride-on mower then what’s it all been for?”