Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Stupid eyebrows may be contagious, Britain warned

DOCTORS have warned that an epidemic of horribly heavy comedy eyebrows appears to be spreading across the UK.

The mysterious condition, which affects only a handful of men but 70 per cent of woman aged between 14 and 35, is thought to be spreading via popular social media app Instagram.

Tom Logan of Colchester believes his girlfriend Hayley has developed symptoms, though she refuses to talk about it and acts as if it is perfectly normal.

He said: “I kept seeing her watching YouTube tutorials where women began with normal eyebrows and end up with these huge heavy things like a swooping hawk. When I asked why she slammed her laptop closed.

“Then the other day she went into town, still with normal, human eyebrows, and came back with these massive thick ones that make her look permanently surprised.

“All her friends have them too. It’s like a child with a black crayon defaced them to look like Cara Delevingne.”

Health expert Helen Archer warned “False Eyebrow Syndrome is highly contagious, and it’s spreading fast. Britain is close to becoming one massive stupid eyebrow.”