WITH so many designs of sunglasses there’s a multitude of ways to look like a prick. Here’s a handy guide to the vibe you’re giving off.
Mirrored: ‘Creepy bastard’
Because no one can see your eyes everyone thinks you’re perving at people. Which you undoubtedly are, however many times you say you got them to reduce ‘eye strain’.
Wraparound: ‘Anally retentive’
It’s clear you’re not a nineties R’n’B star, cricketer or Neo in The Matrix. What’s also clear is the tight grip those sunglasses have on your head is nothing compared to the tight control you must have over every aspect of your life.
Yellow and amber tints: ‘Possibly evil’
Do your sunglasses change to a sinister shade of yellow? It’s entirely possible that when your shades change colour, so does your personality, like Jekyll and Hyde, and you become capable of murder. Even if you don’t you still look like Bono, which is worse.
Aviators: ‘Boring bastard’
You think you’re giving off a Top Gun vibe and that you’re cool yet dangerous. However Aviators are a clear sign of compensating for a lack of personality and your favourite topic of conversation is probably asset management.
Sunglasses on the Tube: ‘Lunatic or wanker’
Wearing shades in an underground tunnel where there’s no sun definitely calls your sanity into question. Either that or you think you look ‘cool’ when everyone is silently thinking ‘wanker’.
