THE gimp-suited prowler of Somerset’s identity remains a mystery but, let’s face it, he or she will be a Conservative MP. But which?
Somerset’s brave battler for a Brexit that benefits him personally is the most obvious candidate, but rubber fetishism is an invention of the last 100 years and so beneath Rees-Mogg’s contempt. Fantasising about whipping slaves on his 19th century Malaysian rubber plantation is more his thing.
Nothing Jeremy Hunt does matters any more. Nobody is paying any attention, and nobody cares. He could wander a leafy Somerset village in a gimp suit and nobody would give a shit. And he can prove it.
The extent to which rubbing yourself against women while clothed head-to-toe in rubber and wearing a terrifying mask is simply business as usual in the Conservative party can not be underestimated.
“Accept a job in Boris Johnson’s cabinet? I’d rather run up and down Claverham high street wearing a full gimp suit than work for that c*ck,” Amber Rudd unwisely said in front of witnesses in the Stranger’s Bar at the Commons last year. And so it unfolded.
You know it’s Michael Gove. Michael Gove knows it’s Michael Gove. Michael Gove’s wife’s column ‘Why the underground S&M fetish scene is the last bastion of true British morality’ was laid out and ready to print months ago. But this charade shall continue for a while longer.
ODDS 2-5 on