Monday, 6th July 2020

Woman one item of clothing away from being fully dressed as a leopard

A WOMAN on a night out is one item of leopard print away from being confused with a jungle cat using its hind legs to walk.  

Essex reveller Emma Bradford’s decision to wear leopard print heels rapidly escalated into a top, leggings and jacket that would allow her to blend into African grasslands while stalking prey. 

Friend Susan Traherne said: “Leopard print is sexy and fashionable right now, but Emma looks like an extra in a really low-budget Tarzan film. 

“All the girls out tonight have at least one item of leopard print, but in Emma's case she actually looks like she might bite into someone. If a gazelle’s escaped from a zoo they’re f*cked.

“The trouble with leopard print is that it’s highly addictive and only leads to more leopard or worse, such as clothes with flamingos on.”

Clubber Tom Booker said: “All she needs is a leopard print hat and you won’t be able to tell her apart from a real leopard. Although cougar might be more accurate.”