EARL Spencer’s new memoir of his sister Princess Diana is full of lies about Piers Morgan, the man who feels he replaced her in the nations’s affections. Including these:
‘He’s a beloved national broadcaster’
It’s important to get the facts right. Calling Piers Morgan a ‘beloved national broadcaster’ might be a concise introduction, but glosses over the reality of longstanding public contempt. Future editions will describe him accurately as an irritating wanker who Susanna Reid was professional enough never to admit she despised with her whole being.
‘He published hidden camera photos of Diana’
The sticking point for Morgan and one easily disproved. He couldn’t have published intrusive photos of Diana in The Mirror in 1993 because he didn’t work for the paper until 1995. At that time he was innocently arranging paparazzi to hide in the bushes outside 18-year-old actresses’ homes for The Sun’s Bizarre column.
‘He doesn’t have a micropenis’
Unless Earl Spencer has seen it, how can he make this oddly specific claim? Though the former This Morning host certainly behaves like a man frustrated by his unimpressive member. To set the record straight, a man as focused on journalistic integrity as Morgan should take a dick pic and provide it free of charge to the world’s press.
‘He was a key figure in Diana’s life story’
Ask anyone what they know about Diana, and they’ll list key details like shaking hands with that Aids guy, the revenge dress, and her affair with a tank commander. Morgan wouldn’t get a mention because he’s irrelevant, unless there’s an appendix about grifters riding the coat-tails of the deceased in which case he’s in there after Paul Burrell.
‘He no longer has blue balls for Meghan’
Bollocks. Only a man who has been rejected by his crush would behave so abhorrently towards her. He still has a shrine to Meghan in the garage and thinks of the Duchess of Sussex every time he makes love to his wife. Unlike his other dubious claims, that’s verifiable fact.
