Mail’s giant map of Britain to include names and addresses of all traitors

THE Daily Mail is giving every reader a free ‘giant map of Britain’ to help them hunt down local traitors.

The paper said the map is particularly huge to allow the millions of names and addresses to be included without the letters being too small to read.

A Daily Mail spokesman said: “It’s about 16 foot wide and 28 foot long. You can pin it to a large outside wall, though if you live north of Swindon you’ll need a ladder to examine it. Or just lay it on the floor, the lawn or a nearby public park.

“At that point  – assuming you know where your home town is actually located – it’s really easy to find all the traitors within your midst who want to hand this country over to Guyana.

“We’re also giving each reader a giant pen so they can score off each traitor’s name as they are being bundled into the back of a van by some soldiers.”

The spokesman added: “It’s a lovely, traditional way of hunting down communists and homosexuals using a proper British map.”