HOLDING reasonable political opinions is now only for total shitheads who should shut the fuck up forever, it has been confirmed.
As Britain’s newspapers branded judges ‘enemies of the people’ for a legal ruling and compared the Brexit process to the horrors of the second world war, the public agreed that frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog is the best way forward.
Susan Traherne, from Gloucester, said: “You know those people who say ‘there’s right and wrong on both sides’ and ‘politics is about compromise’?
She added: “In 2016, it’s all about taking the most extreme position possible on your end of the spectrum and characterising the other side as the Nazis, or Stalin, or the Khmer Rouge if you fancy something a bit exotic.”
Bill McKay, from Stevenage, said: “‘Talking’ to people? ‘Debating in Parliament’? ‘Checks and balances’?
He added: “If anyone even tries being reasonable around me, I’m punching first and asking questions never.”
Prime minister Theresa May said: “Loving this.”