The people voted for a military coup, says Theresa May

THE UK has already voted for the overthrow by force of Parliament, the House of Lords and the judiciary, the prime minister has asserted. 

Speaking from the head of a fleet of tanks driving down the Mall, May said that she has a mandate to shell the House of Commons, send Lords into exile and imprison all judges indefinitely without trial. 

May said: “In the last vote Britain will ever have, and the only one that counts, I was chosen as the country’s president-for-life with extraordinary and unlimited powers. 

“Any attempt to claim otherwise, for example by supporting one of the opposition parties made illegal by decree this morning, is an act of revolution.” 

She added: “Also, I always had this moustache. Can’t be a proper dictator without a moustache.”