Why am I such a miserable git?
Happiness comes from sweets and things made of plastic and sparkly items you see in the adverts on Channel 5. All you need to do is get a job which pays you about £21.99 a week. If you are too young to work, ask your mum and dad every half an hour for several days to give you the money and then you can get some wine gums, a Sherbet Dip Dab, some Shopkins and a Barbie and you will be happy for at least five minutes.
Hope that helps,