Media to Harry: 'We hate you, we f**king hate you, give us photos of your kids'

THE UK media has reminded Prince Harry of their ever-burning loathing of him and his bitch wife, then asked for photographs of their children. 

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, who are hated with the fury of a thousand suns, nonetheless have royal children that Britain needs to follow obsessively throughout their entire lives.

Sun reporter Sophie Rodriguez said: “The pair of them are worse than paedophiles committing genocide as far as I’m concerned. Nonetheless, the children are lovely.

“Little Archie and Lilibet, whose name was a fatal insult to the Queen tantamount to murder? They’re delightful. Why won’t those scumf**k parents of theirs let us see their faces?

“If you recall, the animosity towards Harry and Meghan only began when they wouldn’t release pictures of newborn Archie to the press immediately. That pissed us off. Everything else followed.

“But even after they’ve been forced into exile, even after five years of screaming revenge, even after estranging them both from their families and destroying anything they attempt to do, they refuse to show us their children. I cannot understand why.”

She added: “That photo with Lilibet in? Meghan’s aging really badly in it. She looks like a raddled old hag six days dead, corpse pulled out of a toxic lake.”

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Man 'on good terms' with ex unaware his number's blocked

A MAN who claims to be on good terms with his ex is unaware she blocked him on all social media and her phone in January. 

Jack Browne is happily under the impression he remains friends with Lucy Parry, while oblivious that his ‘Happy New Year!’ text prompted her to digitally blacklist him using all available means so she is never again irritated by his continued existence.

Browne said: “Lucy and I are solid. There’s no anger or resentment there. If anything we get along much better than when we were together.

“Every couple of months I drop her a message to say hi, see how things are going, but there’s no pressure on her to answer so she doesn’t. That’s her way of telling me everything’s fine between us. I can tell because we’re so close.

“She hasn’t picked up the last few times I’ve called, which is slightly odd, but maybe she’s just busy. Maybe she’s been moved to the night shift. Does PR have a night shift?

“Anyway, sure we’ll touch base pretty soon and hang out. Maybe she’d like to go on holiday with me? Because everyone else has said no.”

Parry said: “Oh yeah, I’m on perfectly normal terms with Jack. Those terms being he can f**k off and die.”