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Is my cocaine Angel Delight, or vice versa? How to spot the difference

BRITONS have smuggled cocaine disguised as Angel Delight, which has millions with a packet of the latter at the back of a cupboard wondering: should I snort it? Apply these tests: 

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Chris de Burgh: Acts you'd f**king love to see do a surprise Glastonbury set

LADY Gaga and Pulp are both rumoured to be performing surprise Glastonbury sets. But the anguish of the audience if these artists strode onstage instead would be a joy: 

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