Couple excited to finally go on holiday that will ruin their relationship

A COUPLE have unveiled plans for the long-awaited holiday which will inevitably put an end to their three year long relationship.

Tom Logan and Jane Thomson have been planning their trip to Italy for months, apparently hoping that the constant tension and disagreements will bring them closer together.

Thomson who will get angry at Logan because of his restaurant choice, said: “I can’t wait for our romantic evenings in the streets of Rome, holding hands while planning our future together.”

Logan, who will be constantly too tired for sex, said: “I can’t wait to see what the bedrooms have to offer, am I right?”

The couple, who have a maximum of three months left together have been warming up by fighting over whether or not they should spend their Air Miles.

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Cheese plant wins employee of the month

AN office cheese plant has earned a well-deserved employee of the month award, it has been confirmed.

Employees at a packaging wholesaler in East Worthing were initially surprised when the managing director handed a framed certificate and monogrammed pen to the cheese plant in the stairwell.

Warehouse worker Julian Cook said: “But then I thought fair play, it’s been totally smashing it the last few weeks.

“While I’ve just been dicking about slapping labels on boxes, that cheese plant’s been providing decorative value and mildly toxic secretions.”