A COUPLE are on the brink of breaking up over a disagreement about who has the most awful parents.
James Bates was thinking of proposing to partner Donna Sheridan before she made an offhand remark about his parents being ‘batshit f**king mental’.
Bates said: “Donna reckons my parents are terrible people because my dad thinks Nigel Farage seems like a top bloke and my mum told everyone in her knitting group when we were having sexual problems.
“Yes, accurate, but I couldn’t take that from someone whose mum puts tomatoes in fish pie and dad bores me about annuities to the point that I want to slit my wrists.
“We had an enormous row where I accused her of being the unstable spawn of a pair of semi-alcoholics and she told me I was a needy, emasculated mummy’s boy.”
However, Bates and Sheridan came to realise how much they do actually like each other’s parents when they started looking at how much deposit they will need to buy a flat.
Sheridan said: “If they’re prepared to chip in fifteen grand and get us on the housing ladder, that would be amazing. And I’ll just have to call James’ mum an overbearing fascist bitch under my breath.”