IS the old ball and chain in a weird huff again? It’s probably due to one of these totally legitimate concerns, as well as the fact you just sniggered at ‘ball and chain’.
The state of your bathroom
You gave your bathroom a cursory clean the first time she popped round, but those days are long gone and now there are more hairs lining the shower than you’d find on a barber’s floor. Your girlfriend is right to hold her breath while she does her business as quickly as possible. At least buy some bleach, even if you never use it.
Forgetting her birthday
Your ex-girlfriend wasn’t ‘ker-azy’ because you forgot her birthday, she was reasonably upset that the one day of the year she could expect some love and attention slid by without any fanfare. To make matters worse, other men have set the bar so low you could have just stuck a candle in a cupcake and it would have been fine.
Saying someone else’s name in bed
We really shouldn’t have to justify this one on your girlfriend’s behalf. If you accidentally yelp out some other bird’s name during the throes of passion, then your mind was clearly picturing someone else doing the deed with you. Do the decent thing and pay for the removal van as she goes to live with her sister for a bit.
Your open flirting with other women
Being nice is a harmless way to grease the wheels of social interactions, but you’re clearly ‘on’ in a flirtatious way whenever there’s a hot woman involved. Often your poor girlfriend is right there to dab the drool from your mouth as you openly leer away like a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon. She deserves better.
Not supporting her in any way
Whether it’s never helping out with the bills, neglecting your share of the housework once again, or not listening to her talk about another tough day in the office, your general lack of support is a running theme of disappointment with your girlfriends. And her female friends have the same issues with their boyfriends. Seriously, get your shit together, lads.