A 32-YEAR-OLD man who dedicates his leisure time to f**king then ghosting women insists his behaviour is motivated by his sense of civic duty.
Concerned by an ageing population and shrinking workforce, Jordan Gardner set about addressing the problem through dating apps, one one-night stand at a time.
He said: “The only serious thing I was looking for was a serious shake-up of the nation’s demographic crisis.
“The Boomer generation and their triple-lock pensions will bankrupt us all unless we get breeding. Yes, that’s why I have swiped right on more than 30,000 women and sent more than 3,000 ‘u up?’ texts. To repopulate the earth.
“I’m the one making the sacrifice here. My Tinder settings are so open I once matched with three generations of one family, but that’s my philanthropic mission. The Bible told us to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’ I take that very seriously.
“This isn’t for me, it’s because someone has to handle the looming population crisis and, if necessary, every woman within a 50-mile radius. I find the term ‘f**kboi’ disrespectful. At the very least I am a f**ckman.”
Former sexual partner Jo Kramer said: “This doesn’t explain why he was so keen on a blowjob.”
