TINDER, a romance simulator for adults, is the most popular mobile game of the 21st century. But how do you get to that elusive 100 per cent? Top player Ryan Whittaker explains:
Master your moves
You can beat most of the opponents in Tinder with these simple moves once you’ve mastered them; a guileless opening, a faux-casual photo of you petting a dog, and a jokey reference to your six-figure income. Don’t bother being imaginative. Just spam those.
Learn the patterns and swot up on the dodges before you go charging in. It’s not about getting behind their defences straight away, it’s about steadily wearing down their resistance until they leave themselves open. I can’t tell you how many women have dated me because ‘still being there’ after 18 months ‘proves I care’.
Don’t ignore the side quests
An accidental swipe right might seem like another tedious mission where you gather flowers, go out for dinner, and receive your reward in the bedroom level, but doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. You’ll pick up valuable experience, and often it’s in the same location you’re already visiting for the main story shag.
Play to your strengths
Develop a playstyle that works to your natural advantages. For example, don’t max out your fashion meter with style points if you’re bald. Or, if you’re naturally funny, put off that first date until they’re so into you that it reflects badly on them when you’re repulsive. Don’t bother getting good at sex, you’ve already won by then.
Remember, it’s not about leaving Tinder with a functioning relationship. Only noobs believe that. It’s about keeping as many women going as possible, receiving photos, going on dates and ultimately boosting your ego with romantic attention while never actually committing. If they don’t realise that it’s not your problem.