THE wonderful, embracing decision to invite a son’s boyfriend for a Christmas meal has been spoiled by said boyfriend being an arsehole.
Julian and Tanya Cook, keen to support son Max’s choices and reassure him of their love, invited his partner Oli O’Connor over to stay overnight while now wishing they had not for non-homophobic reasons.
Julian said: “We don’t want to be thought intolerant, but does he have to eat like that? That isn’t a gay thing, surely. And, not being rude, could he shower?
“Also he’s conversationally limited. I recognise not every gay man wants to discuss aesthetics in the work of Robert Mapplethorpe. I didn’t expect his focus on the works of Mr Beast to be quite as relentless.
“Lime green shorts I’m sure look fantastic on the dancefloor of The Fridge. On our Queen Anne chairs they do stand out a bit, and I honestly never imagined we’d need a house rule about vaping weed in the snug.
“There must be better out there, surely. Perhaps Tanya could download Grinder to her iPad and we could help out like when we helped choose your university?”
Son Max said: “Yeah, fair enough, he’s a prick.”
