A MAN who thinks it would be cool to have a ‘polyamorous’ relationship gets jealous and possessive when asked to share his crisps.
Office worker Nathan Muir has claimed monogamy is unnatural and he is evolutionarily hardwired to have sex with multiple women, despite only having slept with three of them in his life.
Muir’s partner Nikki Hollis said: “Nathan says he could handle me sleeping with other people, but when I asked for some of his pickled onion Monster Munch the other day he got really annoyed.
“I don’t think he’s thought this polyamorous relationship thing through. He seems to think it just means he can shag around and that’s all there is to it.
“But considering how tetchy he gets about other people dipping into his Frazzles I don’t think he’d be able to cope with me having amazing sex in our bed with a string of serious or casual lovers.
“With a bit of luck he’s just having another phase, like when he got obsessed with Breaking Bad and wanted to retrain as a science teacher.”
Muir said: “Me and Nikki having lots of different sexual partners sounds really hot. Hey, did you just have one of my kettle chips? Fuck off, there’s only six left.”