THE public has expressed total approval for genetically altered babies that do not need to shit.
Scientists admitted they already had made a prototype shitless baby called Robbie who expels waste matter in the form of odourless pods, which instead of coming out of his arse are removed via a hatch in his back.
Geneticist Mary Fish said: “Robbie is a normal, healthy child except nothing comes out of his backside. A couple of times a day you have to check his back for waste-pods which smell slightly of lavender and have a marble-like sheen which means they make appealing ornaments.
“Normally we get loads of hassle for trying to use science to stop people getting life-threatening diseases, but as soon as we made a baby that doesn’t do rank shits everyone started treating us like heroes.”
Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “I normally have a superstitious fear of scientists ‘playing God’ but I suppose it’s ok if it means not having my house smell like a farmyard.”