A MAN has discovered a six-foot long fatberg staring back at him in the mirror.
Martin Bishop, 36, came across the the 1.8m long mass of fat, oil, Deliveroos and Mars Bars around 7.45 this morning.
He said: “I came out of the shower put a towel around my waist and there it was right there in the mirror. I swear it wasn’t there before, it just came from nowhere.”
However, unlike other fatbergs, which are caused by the inappropriate disposal of insoluble items down sewage pipes, this one has been caused by Bishop being a lazy fucker who eats like a human waste disposal unit.
Fatberg expert Tom Booker said “I’ve seen fatbergs of this size before, but not one that could also take part in a pub quiz.”