MOTHERING a child causes certain biological changes, among them being able to discern what is real and what is generative AI. Mum’s sent you these five just to double-check:
Mick Jagger dying mid-song live on stage
BBC News don’t seem to have picked up on it, but your mum still believes in the Instagram Reel she saw last week where the Rolling Stones lead singer was going too hard during the chorus of Jumpin’ Jack Flash and passed away live in front of thousands of cheering fans. Perhaps the newspapers are waiting for an official statement.
Nelson Mandela riding an elephant through Manhattan
The Mandela effect is a phenomenon where many people are convinced that Nelson died in prison in the 1990s because they remember his televised funeral. Your mother’s skipped over that phenomenon and just wants to confirm with you whether this supposedly dead man could be riding an elephant down Fifth Avenue?
A new water park opening on the River Thames
Incredibly, the Thames, as clogged as it is with wet wipes, rats, and pleasure boats of foreign tourists enjoying same, will soon be home to an epic new water park. The main attraction’s a two-mile slide that winds around Big Ben before throwing you out somewhere near the Shard, and she wants to know if the kids want tickets for Christmas?
Steve Irwin playing a snake like a saxophone
He died 20 years ago, obviously, but given the Crocodile Hunter’s facility with reptiles it’s surely plausible that he once picked up a King Cobra before bending it into the shape of a sax and breaking into the solo from MacArthur Park? Even if it is fake, it’s a lovely and tasteful tribute, and your animal-loving daughter must see it.
Asylum seekers arriving on mega yachts
It’s known that people get more reactionary as they get older, so really it’s good that your mum is running this video past you before posting it on Facebook with a caption that would get any non-retired person called in for a disciplinary hearing. Bloody immigrants, coming over here with their three arms.
