Vegan scientists discover second topic of conversation 

VEGAN scientists have announced the discovery of something else they can talk about apart from their veganism.

The discovery was made this weekend following months of research which mostly consisted of talking about the perils of veganism and what good vegan recipes they knew.

Vegan scientist, Julian Cook said: “Being a vegan, this subject matter is obviously of great importance to me.

“As vegans we are always looking to expand our horizons and try new things so this second topic of conversation will hopefully open a lot of doors for people.”

Fellow vegan scientist, Emma Bradford added: “My veganism is very important to me and everyone who knows me knows that.

“My only fear is that this new topic of conversation may detract from veganism as a whole and that’s something that I’m sure none of us want.”

Rumors are circulating as to what the new conversation topic is, with some guessing that it will be yoga or possibly gluten intolerance.

Bradford added: “It’s neither of those. Even though they are both enormously important.”

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How did these Brexit donor arseholes get to be so rich? asks Britain

BRITONS are confused as to how multi-millionaires can support something as stupid as Brexit yet also be good at business.

After financier Jeremy Hosking offered £700,000 to campaign against Remain MPs, people are wondering how you can be clever at making money but thick about trashing the economy.

Tom Logan said: “This guy is an ‘asset manager’ which does sound tremendously skilled. I suppose he could be one of these clever people with no common sense who tries to use a hairdryer while he’s having a bath.

“Or maybe he’s just been lucky all these years by doing things like investing in Apple because he likes apples and Amazon because he likes tall women and/or large rivers.”

Nurse Emma Bradford said: “At first I thought rich Brexiters just wanted lower taxes, but they all believe the same bullshit as my friend Kaz who thinks the EU is basically the Nazis without uniforms.

“Still, with all that money at least they can give some to people who lose their jobs because of Brexit. I’m sure that’s the plan.”