£150 tax break encourages tight bastards to marry

A YEARLY £150 married persons’ tax incentive will encourage tight-fisted sods to wed, it has been claimed.

Relationship counsellor Donna Sheridan said: “My concern is that wanting £150 may not be a sound basis for a committed, lifelong relationship.

“If you’re stingey enough to get married for a relatively small sum of money, you’ll probably end up getting divorced anyway, thanks to constantly nagging your spouse to reuse teabags.”

Receptionist Nikki Hollis said: “I’ll never forget what my boyfriend Dave said when he proposed – ‘Nikki, I think you’re amazing and if you marry me there’s 75 quid in it for you.’”



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Two and a Half Men 'shit'

PEOPLE who saw Two and a Half Men last night have said it was ‘shit’.

The people, who earn on average about £32,000 a year, spoke out after not finding religion in any way.

One of the people said: “There is quite a lot of sexual content but that does not make it any less shit.”

Another one of the people said: “It was shit when Charlie Sheen was in it and it’s shit now.”