THE 1990s were every bit as perfect as your nostalgia-clouded memories make them out to be, a research project has discovered.
A team tasked with investigating whether Oasis, doing pills in superclubs, voting New Labour and Two Dogs alcoholic lemonade were actually as good as they are claimed to be has found that yes, they were at least that great and probably more so.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Our working hypothesis was the years 1990 through to 1999 only seemed a non-stop thrill ride because you were in the prime of your life still aflame with possibilities. Bollocks. They were just brilliant.
“The Berlin Wall was down, you could smoke indoors, lad mags were getting all the hottest girls on telly to pose naked and university was free. It was the definition of a golden age.
“Even the news was fine. The recession was benign and kindly. War in Yugoslavia barely touched us because it was a bit confusing and America busied itself with the OJ trial. Footballers still got pissed and Mars bars were the size of your fist.”
He added: “Remember that ‘Hello Boys’ advert? Good times.”
51-year-old Martin Bishop said: “Best decade ever, no competition. Nobody’s going to look back at the 2020s fondly. Who’s getting wistful over shit memes about worse mental health?”
