52 per cent of Britons don’t believe in moon landings and that number sounds familiar, say experts

52 per cent of the UK does not believe the moon landings happened, and that is not the first time that number has made headlines recently. 

A survey found that 52 per cent of adults thought the 1969 moon landings were fake, a similar number to other Britons who share unorthodox beliefs unsupported by evidence.

Scientist Mary Fisher said: “52 per cent. Funny coincidence, 52 per cent of people denying well-documented truths in favour of wild imaginings from shady conspiracists.

“It’s almost as if 52 per cent of the country is credulous to the point of idiocy. Maybe we should have a vote on whether there even is a moon, and if they win we’ll all agree tides are caused by sea monsters.”

Roy Hobbs of Middlesbrough said: “The moon landings never took place, fact, and these Mooniacs need to get over it and stop whining.

“The 52 per cent have spoken. We’re never wrong.”

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Pasty Britons in desperate 48-hour race to get tan

THE pasty people of Britain have just two days to expose their bodies to enough sunlight to last for the other 363 days.

Yesterday, millions of Britons woke up and immediately stripped down to their underwear to head for the nearest outside space.

Wayne Hayes said: “I didn’t even bother calling the office to tell them I wouldn’t be in. I knew they would have worked that out and it would waste valuable seconds.

“I put in a solid 10-hour day, five on my front and five on my back until I was in tremendous pain.”

Clare Bradford said: “I knew something was wrong when I arrived at the office and it was deserted.

“All I could do was sprint to the nearest park, stopping en route to buy some cooking oil so I could make up time and sizzle like an onion.”