EVERY single fancy beer just tastes like a different type of metal, it has been confirmed.
An independent panel of food and drink experts has confirmed that red ales taste the most of metal, IPAs taste like tin, and every beer from Belgium is like licking a scaffolding pole.
Ignoring brewers’ claims about their beer tasting of apricots, chocolate or lemons, their notes contained descriptions including ‘brass’, ‘aluminium’ and ‘whatever it is they use to make drawing pins’.
Head of the panel Carolyn Ryan said: “Back palate, front palate, whatever. It’s all the same. Go on, have a swig of this and tell me it’s not like accidentally biting your spoon.”
The panel also found that all wine tastes like bits of wood, and all truffles smell like gas.