Ancient demonic entity saving kids from half term boredom

PARENTS have praised Mexican demon Charlie for giving children something to do during the half term break.

The malevolent spirit became a popular and economical alternative to theme parks when it emerged that it could be summoned using just a pencil and paper.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “This week was shaping up to be a nightmare, the weather is dodgy and they can’t just watch telly. Then I read about this internet craze for communicating with a centuries-old diabolical being.

“The ‘board’ takes seconds to draw out and after you’ve summoned the demon it will chat all day. The kids love it, and I love it even though Charlie has apparently told them to burn down the house and to cut the brake cables on the car.

“Even if Charlie has an evil agenda this is way cheaper than Legoland, and the natural progression from reading Harry Potter.

“The main thing is that it keeps them quiet.”

However father Roy Hobbs said: “I don’t want my children communing with any Mexican demons.

“What’s wrong with our British demons? I’m sure there are plenty of them and they have proper English names like ‘Brian’ and ‘Pete’.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Dog really pissed off with O2

LABRADOR Tom Booker wants to bite everyone at O2 after his mobile phone stopped working yesterday.

Booker said: “Like most dogs, I have a laissez-faire attitude, but when my phone network goes down I quickly switch into ‘bite everything’ mode.

“I needed to make an emergency grooming parlour booking due to having rolled in some cow shit, but because of having no signal I had to spend the whole day enveloped in an embarrassing stench.

“Being told to ‘turn it off and on again’ isn’t good enough when you’ve got paws, which makes the smaller buttons hard to manipulate.

“My stress levels are off the chart. Godammit it, somebody throw me a chewy bar.”