BIRMINGHAM has become the UK’s first all-Klingon city.
The transition was complete as the last non-Klingon emerged from a public lavatory and was then placed in a laser-cannon and fired into the upper atmosphere.
The city’s name has been changed to ‘Arkmapnak’ and its promotional slogan is now ‘Kirk Marap Koobanak’, which means ‘Kirk molested a spaniel’.
Balak Goprak, the leader of the city council, said: “I challenge you now, Kirk. Come to Arkmapnak, if you have the courage.”
Asked how the city will address complaints over refuse collection timetables, Goprak replied: “Kirk, you and your decrepit comrades will beg for mercy as I wield the Triple Axe of Charkogdok.”
Meanwhile, the city’s football teams have been incinerated and the National Exhibition Centre is now home to the deadly Klingon sport of Pang-Pong.