Monday, 8th March 2021

Bullshit controversies of the 2020s vs the 1980s - which were best?

HARDLY a week goes by without some confected controversy like ‘cancel culture’. But how do they compare with the public outrages of the 1980s? Let’s find out.

Video nasties 

Somewhat undermined by the films in question being extremely shit (Last House on the Left) or humorous gore for horror buffs (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). Also, they were impossible to get hold of, especially on Betamax. Bullshit controversy rating: 7

‘Cancel culture’

Somewhat undermined by it always being deliberately provocative right-wingers who always get ‘cancelled’ yet make lots of money from it. ‘Grift’ is a harsh term but let’s be honest, there’s more grifting going on here than in the film Grifters. Bullshit controversy rating: 9 

The skinhead scare

Although actual skinheads included plenty of racist thugs, bizarre scare stories about them abounded. Skinheads were going to turn up at schools and slash people. Skinheads had stripped someone and glued them to a railway bridge, a truly odd myth that neatly incorporated that other 80s obsession: superglue. All a bit unfair on skins who were just ska fans. Bullshit controversy rating: 5

Pulling down statues

One statue has been pulled down so far, threatening the very existence of the UK. Also, graffiti has been sprayed on some other statues, which would probably make the actual Winston Churchill say ‘Why are you wasting my time with this?’. Bullshit controversy rating: 8

Satanism 

Big in the 80s, especially in the States. Everything from cack solo albums by Ozzy Osbourne to Dungeons & Dragons was targeted. This had some bad real-world consequences, but mostly just led to people knackering their heavy metal albums by trying to listen to them backwards. Bullshit controversy rating: 6 

Scary internet fads 

Do you even remember Momo now? Or fear the Slender Man? And any adult dense enough to eat Persil capsules to win an internet challenge suggested by cackling trolls gets limited sympathy. Bullshit controversy rating: 8

Verdict

With the scores on the doors, 25 to 18, bullshit controversies are much better now. Get furious about political correctness then watch Driller Killer to chill out.