Colleague traumatised by honest answer to trite, rhetorical question

A WOMAN has caused fear and panic in her workplace after answering the question “How are you?” with the truth.

32-year old marketing manager Emma Bradford took the drastic step after entering the office kitchen to make a cup of tea at the same time as colleague Stephen Malley.

Malley, 29, said: “I did what I always do when I end up in the kitchen with someone, which is stare at the kettle and mumble ‘How are you?’ in a way that doesn’t really invite a reply.

“Everyone knows the unspoken code of office conversation, but for some reason Emma didn’t just say ‘Yeah, fine thanks’ and then concentrate really hard on washing up her mug.”

Malley added: “I couldn’t believe it when she said she was actually feeling really down. I then made the mistake of looking her in the eye. She told me that she might be having an ‘existential crisis’. What’s that about?

“At this point someone came in so she stopped talking, but there was a really weird atmosphere in the room.

“It would have been less awkward if we’d been caught having sex.”