COLLEGES keen to equip students with key life skills are introducing a National Vocational Qualification in putting a cover on a duvet.
The two-year course will combine theory and practice, comparing the major schools of thought in duvet-changing, from British single to European super-king.
Modules include ‘turning it inside out’, ‘just shove the bastard in there’ and ‘plumping the fuck out of it’.
Lecturer Norman Steele said: “More than 80 percent of Britain’s 18 to 40 year-olds have become trapped in duvet covers and end up sobbing quietly like a sad, chunky ghost.
“One of our 19-year-old students lost his mum, when she got stuck inside a tricky corner and had a nervous breakdown.
“He never forgave himself, because it was his SpongeBob set.”