Women do walk of shame to hen night

A GROUP of women have been spotted doing the 11am walk of shame to their city-centre hotel for a hen night. 

The woman tried not to catch anyone’s eye as they dragged their wheeled cases along the streets while shuddering in horror at the things they will do later that evening.

Joanna Kramer said: “Oh my God, I can’t believe I will actually walk the streets of Birmingham wearing a ‘Blowjob Queen’ T-shirt. I won’t be able to look in the mirror tomorrow.

“And grinding myself up against ugly men just to score points in some sexist game? That’s sexual assault, and unconscionable, and I am officially disgusted with my future self.

“Yes, I will be drunk – in fact I’m necking a pre-mixed G&T now, to numb myself – but that’s no excuse for splitting my trousers while attempting to do the ‘slut drop’ to Drake in a nightclub at 3am.

“And I won’t even go home afterwards. I’ll stay out with my crotch out. It’s no wonder I’ll end up shagging that bloke in full view of a taxi queue.”

Bride-to-be Francesca Johnson said: “If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t do any of the awful things I’m going to do tonight. Still, too late now.”