Couple convinced they are living downstairs from a pissed shire horse

A COUPLE believe they must be living below a massive, unemployed shire horse that is permanently drunk.

Since moving into their two-bedroom flat less than a month ago, Nikki Hollis and Tom Roberts have noticed a chaotic and incredibly loud thumping noise coming through the ceiling.

Hollis said: “I honestly do not understand how humans could make this kind of noise. It’s a giant, pissed horse that’s stumbling about at all hours.

“I would go up and complain but I’m allergic to horse hair.”

Meanwhile, Roberts has decided that the downstairs flat is haunted. He added: “No living human would  play Counting Crows full blast at 3am on a Thursday.

“And what kind of human would watch that much Friends on Netflix without skipping the intro? It doesn’t make sense. So I think we have a very ’90s ghost on our hands.”

Meanwhile, the woman who lives next door to Hollis and Roberts is wondering why her new neighbours make such unusual sex noises.

Jane Harris said: “They are either doing it incredibly right or incredibly wrong.”