A FATHER has angrily denied accurate accounts from multiple family members that he fell asleep during a film.
Contrary to the misguided observations of his wife and children, 45-year-old Bill McKay claims he was in fact merely dozing during a repeat of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom on ITV2 and was still taking everything in.
He said: “Yes, my eyes were closed and I was snoring, but that does not mean I was asleep. So don’t go bloody changing the channel because I was watching that for the umpteenth time.
“As a dad I’m capable of watching films through my eyelids while my brain is shut down. It’s one of our special powers, along with never being able to get our kids’ names right on the first go and finding it impossible to make small talk with sons-in-law.
“I will just have to quickly rewind it by an hour though. Might as well take in the visuals while I’m here. It would be rude not to give Ke Huy Quan’s breakout role my full attention.”
McKay’s daughter Lucy said: “I don’t understand why he won’t admit to the truth. It’s 2023, nobody watches films all the way through, we’ve got phones.
“Plus it’s the weakest instalment of the original trilogy. His dreams were sure to have a more satisfying narrative.”
